Since the forum is dead today I'm going to tell a joke.

[butterflygirl67]

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

(how many can you afford?)

[tag]

A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A police spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We  have absolutely nothing to go on."

[the*blonded*one]

Did you hear Willie Nelson got hit by a car?
He was "On The Road Again"...

[stephen12]

you know you're having a bad day when you mistake your squirrel repellent for your deodorant..........

[cushman350]

you know you're having a bad day when you mistake your squirrel repellent for your deodorant..........

Well, there won't be any problems with "pit squirrels".

[stephen12]

yeah. right. lol

[cushman350]

This is my gene pool. My grandson Cooper at the dentist.

 "Lol Cooper was getting a dental check up. Dr. -we've got to clean these teeth so your gums don't get angry like angry birds. Cooper - um if I'm not mistaken birds don't have gums. Lol that kid cracks me up." from Facebook.

Definitely my chromosomes. I mean, we're sitting there paying the big bucks and he thinks birds have......nevermind. 

[cushman350]

Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua . As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink.."
The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do."
They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.
The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand.
This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer said, "A Doberman?"
The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."
The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."
The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought, "What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.
Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog"
The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"
The woman with the Chihuahua said, ..........


"A Chihuahua ? They gave me a
f *** ing Chihuahua?!"

[tag]

My teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I am now.....

[cushman350]

My teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I am now.....

Classic tag.

[writeone]

My teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.

I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I am now.....

Good one. . . . Kind'a reminds me of Chick-Fil-A's media blunder. Except they have resolved to keep quite when people try to draw any of their representatives into future politically impacting conversations. They just want to keep serving chicken to anyone who wants to eat it.

[tag]

Good one. . . . Kind'a reminds me of Chick-Fil-A's media blunder. Except they have resolved to keep quite when people try to draw any of their representatives into future politically impacting conversations. They just want to keep serving chicken to anyone who wants to eat it.

I wouldn't call it a media blunder. He spoke his beliefs and when challenged by the liberal media he stood by them. Something increasingly rare in today's PC world. The first amendment is not just for liberals.

[bobk]

I wouldn't call it a media blunder. He spoke his beliefs and when challenged by the liberal media he stood by them. Something increasingly rare in today's PC world. The first amendment is not just for liberals.

Holy cow, Eat Mor Chikin.

[kathy]

Ok Back on the JOKE THEME, please! Since the blonded one isn't here this afternoon, I can let the blonde jokes fly.

A friend tells the blonde, "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
 The blonde says, "Let's just hope it's not the 13th."
 ------------------------------​------
 Two blondes find three hand grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
 One asks, "What if one explodes before we get there?"
 The other blonde says, "Well...we'll just lie and say we only found two."
 -----------
 A blonde is in this guys bathroom & he shouts, "Did you find the shampoo?"
 She answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."

[tag]

Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?