kathy
The EarthBox
Hero Member
Posts: 3577
Horticulturalist. Zone 5, almost 4
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« Reply #120 on: April 23, 2012, 02:01:38 PM » |
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A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HellOOOooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs ."
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kath, gardening is my game, EarthBox is my fame.
BER...happens.
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cushman350
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« Reply #121 on: April 24, 2012, 04:04:58 PM » |
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INFESTED DIGESTED COMPOSTED
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stephen12
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« Reply #122 on: April 24, 2012, 07:07:27 PM » |
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I am only 13 years old  |
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movrshakr
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« Reply #123 on: April 24, 2012, 07:32:57 PM » |
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That;s good.
His brother went to his doctor for routine check. While there, he said, doc I think my wife's hearing is going--she just doesn't seem to answer when I say things.
Doc said, well, try a test...sometime when she can't see you, stand back and say something in a normal voice. If she doesn't hear it, take a step closer and say it again. Keep on and tell me next time how close you had to be before she heard it.
So, a few days later, the guy comes into the family room, and his wife is sitting on the couch watching TV, back to him.
So, he asks, "honey, what are we having for dinner?"
No answer.
He takes a step closer, and asks again.
No Answer.
He takes a step closer, and asks again.
"For the third time, we're having chicken pot pie!"
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writeone
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« Reply #124 on: April 24, 2012, 08:34:02 PM » |
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 His other brother went to the doctor and took his wife with him into the examining room. After the exam was complete, the doctor pulled the wife aside to give instructions for the care of her husband. "His condition is serious, but if he can keep his diet consistant with 3 nutritious meals a day, he should recover. Here's a list of suggested foods for you to use in making his meals." On the way home, husband asked wife, "What did the doc say?" The wife replied, "Honey, get ready; you' gonna die." 
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« Last Edit: April 27, 2012, 07:29:03 PM by writeone »
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tag
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« Reply #125 on: April 27, 2012, 04:18:39 PM » |
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If a "T-shirt" doesn't have sleeves, shouldn't it be called an "I-shirt"?
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writeone
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« Reply #126 on: April 27, 2012, 07:29:21 PM » |
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Did you make that up yourself?
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movrshakr
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« Reply #127 on: April 27, 2012, 08:13:04 PM » |
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If a "T-shirt" doesn't have sleeves, shouldn't it be called an "I-shirt"?
Only in Arial. I-shirtToo obtuse? |
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cushman350
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« Reply #128 on: April 29, 2012, 01:03:28 PM » |
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If a "T-shirt" doesn't have sleeves, shouldn't it be called an "I-shirt"?
Only in Arial. I-shirtToo obtuse? _l_ After surgery. Before cleanup. Too obtuse? |
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INFESTED DIGESTED COMPOSTED
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movrshakr
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« Reply #129 on: April 29, 2012, 03:08:58 PM » |
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If a "T-shirt" doesn't have sleeves, shouldn't it be called an "I-shirt"?
Only in Arial. I-shirtToo obtuse? _l_ After surgery. Before cleanup. Too obtuse?Nope. |
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gardendoc
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« Reply #130 on: April 30, 2012, 11:39:02 AM » |
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WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS
This one is priceless. A lesson to be learned from
typing the wrong email address!!
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: July 19, 2010
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in.
I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P. S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!
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My grandfather used to say that once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher. But every day, three times a day you need a farmer.
We are only 9 meals away from revolution
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kathy
The EarthBox
Hero Member
Posts: 3577
Horticulturalist. Zone 5, almost 4
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« Reply #131 on: April 30, 2012, 11:58:33 AM » |
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That's hysterical, Doc!
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kath, gardening is my game, EarthBox is my fame.
BER...happens.
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baileyj
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« Reply #132 on: April 30, 2012, 12:04:26 PM » |
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writeone
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« Reply #133 on: April 30, 2012, 02:47:08 PM » |
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« Reply #134 on: April 30, 2012, 04:37:19 PM » |
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Good one Doc |
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